15th March 2011
Another return to Jozi, this time from Cape Town, glorious Cape Town. I have been prejudiced about dear old Slaapstad, unable to reconcile the Great Divide of bling and excess with the shacks and single storey living.
But I landed gently, and settled into the arms of the mountain, the softness of the light and the sweetness of the air. My body took on a new hue from excercise and sunshine, and I felt full, strong in my muscles, as if I once more inhabited this form that is such a miracle.
During the week my passion for the work I have proposed to do in Jozi waned a bit. I’d arrived feeling burned out from traversing Joburg, the M1, N1, N12, running a workshop, and a lack of consistent support. My adrenals felt hammered, and I didn’t much want to socialise.
But socialise I did, with much fine wine and a day on the beach, which sorted me out, and I was in equilibrium once again.
Today, I read in the Mail and Guardian that Oliver Schmitz made a brilliant film that had a 10 minute standing ovation at Cannes. A few years ago whilst juggling work as a freelance editor and director for hire, he realised that he was “dividing his career path” by doing both, and decided to focus on editing. How very sensible and masculine of him. How very envious I am that he has such clarity.
What do I want to do? I want to set up a home, and in the evenings deface giant billboards, transforming them into powerful social messages. I want to hang beautiful art on my walls, and cover my furniture in brightly coloured fabric, and draw big charcoal pieces, paint large canvasses. I want to find a course of cutting edge study that merges radical town planning and economic transformation and upliftment, and work with people to realise their dreams of good living. And I want to be with my husband, lovingly, with great friendship and exploration, and adopt some children and create a home. I want to create. And I want to partner with someone to create a home and a life to move and expand into. Its somewhat of a late realisation, this idea of teaming up with my beloved to create something together – it has always been me, just me, the architect of my own destiny. But I now know that my next step is with someone else whom I love and cherish.
Greenside newspaper advertisement
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